Hourglass

The smell of chaos all around me

I can’t escape it though I try

I watch my friends die each day

But still I fight and I kill so I won’t die

I saw them again yesterday

The man in black and the pale horse

I watched the man slash through the field

Souls leaving the bodies as they fall

I tried not to watch but I couldn’t help it

I know if I stare at him I could die

Distraction here means death

But the beauty of him as he dances

The dance all of us mortals must dance

He haunts my dreams as well

I dream of the moment when his blade

Shall cut through my body to my soul

I dream of the places I might go

A beautiful paradise

A place of nothingness

Or worst of all; the abyss

A place where I must pay

For each life I’ve taken here

But I fear

It would take an eternity to pay

For just one of those lives

Yet I’ve taken hundreds

For just a month of two

I was able to go home

I am called a hero, a savior, and a patriot

But those words ring hollow

I feel like a villain, a murderer, and a terrorist

My friends mourn their family

The men and women who died

But I’ve started to wonder

Do the men and women

I kill every day

Not have families to mourn them?

I pray every night

No longer to the almighty

But to the pale rider

I pray to the man in black

So that he might

Grant my one wish

Grant my soul the peace

It so desperately desires

I can’t keep fighting

I have lost sight of our cause

We kill people here

While back home they throw parades

For the kills we get

So I pray to the one being

The one deity that could spare me

A life of torture

I pray for the man in black

To grant my wish

Give me my desire;

Death